Being Benched

Philippians 4:10-14 (NKJV) 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 14 Nevertheless you have done well that you shared in my distress.

A friend told me that I have been quoting “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” wrong. I have been using it out of context. Our initial conversation had begun because I needed a friend to listen to my heart struggle and help me process my feelings. I dolefully complained to her, “maybe contentment on this side of heaven is not possible.” She wisely stated, “it is possible because Paul had it” and reminded me of the verse above but she didn’t stop there. She then unpacked a truth from it that I needed at just that moment. We began to discuss words like contentment, happiness, surrender, endurance and peace. She corrected my thinking and told me that I had equated contentment with happiness but she thinks it is more related to peace. Hmmmm. Ok. She also equated the words contentment with endurance, which I struggled to reconcile in my mind. “I think you are right. I can buy the connection between peace and contentment but I do not see endurance equated with contentment”, I said. I do not want to lose my contentment because of a change in my circumstances or location. The backstory to “It is Well With My Soul” has taught me that! However, how do I manifest that kind of contentment, that kind of peace? What is wrong with me? What do I need to do? How is endurance related? I am not sure how to fix this problem.

So I gave my brain time and space to process through these ideas. When I came back to them after a few hours of sleep, I opened my Bible to those verses in Philippians 4:13 but this time I looked closely at the context. My friend was right. I had been misquoting those verses. By “I can do”, Paul is saying maintain a state of being. Rather than seeing endurance as a race that I am doing, I need to see endurance as a surrender, a state of being. This endurance as a surrender brings contentment, a permanent state of rest that is not dependent on my circumstances nor on my location, so it seems the passage is saying. Wait. What about Paul saying we have to run a race of endurance and achieve the prize, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”?

So back to my Bible. Ok. Paul did indeed say in Hebrews, “let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us”. So when I read this verse, I imagined a man picking up the heavy backpack of sin and worry off his shoulder, setting it down on the ground, mustering up his will power and energy and then taking off running down a single defined road toward the destination worthy of running to. Sadly, my imagination had created the wrong picture for me. The context of this verse in Hebrews actually paints an entirely different picture!

I went back to a couple of chapters to the beginning of his concept and Paul starts off by saying to draw near, hold fast, consider, and recall. All of those words are sitting still motion, not running forward motion. The better picture would be a man sitting on a bench by a tree next to that road. The backpack is off and sitting next to the tree. He is intentional and deep in thought. Paul continues to say that I need endurance, that I need faith. Thankfully, he follows those thoughts with a ton of examples of faith so I can concretely understand this huge concept. Then he says, Ok. Now that you are still, now that you are quiet and have contemplated faith, let me say again to you what you must maintain doing from this point forward. Once more, continue laying aside this weight of sin and worry next to this tree. Run with endurance the race. In other words, continue sitting on the bench drawing near, holding fast, considering, and recalling. Look to Jesus, our author and finisher of our faith, and consider Him who endured. Then endure the chastening of the Holy Spirit. “Unfortunately”, he says, “This is not what you are doing. You are striving against sin. (Perhaps running on that road?) You have forgotten my exhortation that said do not despise the chastening (think suffering) nor be discouraged when you are rebuked. Don’t you know that chastening (or suffering) yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those that are trained?”.

Wait a minute. I have a different picture in my head again. No longer am I supposed to sit? Am I supposed to be training?! Ok, so jump up and do leg lunges, squats, stretches, etc.?! Well, no. Maybe being trained means learning how to stay on the bench. I am going to have to practice over and over taking that backpack off, putting it at the tree, forcing myself to sit down on that bench, and think. Thinking is hard work. Being is hard work. Surrendering is hard work. However, like anything I practice over and over, it will become easier.

The coolest thing is God did not call me to sit on that bench alone. He called me to be in community, sitting alongside my dear friends and family, being together in the presence of God. In fact, as my family and friends are walking and running down the road, it is my job to call to them to come and rest. “Hey. Yes. You. Come here. Take that backpack off. You are tired. Lay it here against this tree. Sit with me. It’s OK. You can do it. You don’t even have to feel guilty. This is what you are supposed to be doing. That race on the road there is futile and exhausting and chaotic. Sit here. Let us draw near to Jesus together. Guess what? We will make it down there just by sitting here. It’s crazy, I know. It is counter intuitive. Sitting here on this bench gets me moved to the end of that road? Well, it turns out Jesus built the road. He has told me the only way to run this race is to sit here on this bench. One day, when my race is done, somehow, He moves this bench, this tree, and myself to the end of the road. I just have to surrender my backpack, sit down, and rest.”

So my friend, do not be weary. Weary of sitting on that bench. Do not give up, for the Lord disciplines those He loves. Know that you are beloved. Be full of grace and faith, acknowledging that Jesus already ran on that road the race against sin and death and has made a way for us to rest in Him. So come. Unload your weight, Sit here with me on this bench, next to His tree of truth, and know you are beloved. It turns out that contentment and endurance on this side of heaven is indeed possible.